Where do Kaycis come from?

Kayci has been in the works for a long time. We've been praying for a baby for about two years. Finally, we got tired of waiting for one on our doorstep and started doing research on where babies came from.

We found out that contrary to old wives' tales, babies do not come from cabbage patches or are delivered by the stork. In fact, baby Kayci actually came from Eddie Bauer wrapped in a leather jacket. Who'd have guessed?

Clinical Depression -or- Finding Out That Kayci Was on the Way

About mid-October Kristi felt very tired and drained all the time, both physically and emotionally. To add to that, she was gaining a little weight in certain key areas. She thought she was clinically depressed and was considering going to the doctor to get treatment. A couple of her friends, Kate and Elaine, both told her early on that she was probably pregnant, but Kristi didn't believe them. Then she began feeling very nauseated and lost her appetite for some of her favorite foods. That's when she began to suspect. We bought a home pregnancy test on Friday, October 25 and she showed positive twice. We went to our family doctor on Monday, October 28 and showed positive on that test also. The doctor figured we were 5-8 weeks pregnant. Then we went to Kristi's girly-doctor on Wednesday, October 30 and she did an ultrasound. Sure enough, we were 5 weeks pregnant. The ultrasound showed a tiny little dot surrounded by a black area. That was Kayci's first photo. I thought the ultrasound looked like a swirling hurricane on radar, so we nicknamed the little thing in Kristi's tummy Baby Hurricane, even though no one would know for several days.

Trick or Treating For Babies

We were going to try to save the news for the November birthdays, but we were just too excited. So we decided on Halloween to go around to our parents' houses and trick-or-treat. Kristi took off her shoes and went as "barefoot and pregnant." The best reaction was her mom, who screamed and ran out of the room. The parents whose birthdays were coming up got Hurricane Pharaon t-shirts. The design is on the photo page.

If Ultrasounds Were Wishes...

A few people have asked us why we've got so many ultrasound pictures of the baby. Is something wrong? Is everything okay? Do we own stock in GE? Apparently, it's not common to have very many ultrasounds done. The answer is quite simple, really.

We wanted to irradiate the baby so much while she was in the womb that by the time she came out, she would HAVE to possess super powers. I mean , really... Kristi's always wanted a little red curly-haired baby and I've always wanted to be a superhero, so we compromised. She got the baby and I get to have a little mutant who can lift cars and throw them at me when she's a teenager.

Actually, we just happened to find a doctor who likes to perform ultrasounds. We didn't even ask for them. A typical doctors visit usually consists of Kristi peeing into a cup a couple of times (it takes a couple of times because unlike James, she has very bad aim) and getting undressed, only to put on a paper thin gown that has the all the opaque qualities of wax paper. Then they come in and hook her up to a machine as if they were jump starting a car. That's when the "baby show" begins. It's usually pretty short and has a good moral in the end. The main character is a tiny little thing, but her stature in the world, like herself, is getting bigger all the time.

So, that's why we have more photographic evidence of this baby than the government has of weapons in Iraq.

Who's Baby Is This?

During the first trimester, the baby pretty much dictated what Kristi would and could eat. Kristi never did get sick or anything or had any really bizarre cravings like peanut butter and pickles or cream cheese and Oreos. But the baby was VERY opinionated as far as what it liked. If Kristi even LOOKED at some foods, such as pears or apples, Kristi felt sick to her stomach. The baby really wanted cheese and bacon and steak and lots of meat. That lead to my determination that this was a boy. Really- what guy doesn't like a good steak and lots of cheese? To make matters more interesting, the baby HATED things that Kristi generally loves, such as ABCs & 123s or Chicken & Stars. And the baby had no taste for sweets, either. The baby actually liked veggies & lots of other things that I like.

All this naturally led me to wonder. I mean, the baby obviously liked all the things I like and hated most of the things Kristi likes . So I basically knew that Kristi was carrying MY baby in there. I just wasn't sure if it was her baby at all...

How You Know It's Time To Buy New Clothes

Kristi has a coworker at school who is about three weeks more pregnant than she is. This girl started showing before the holidays and was wearing maternity clothes just after Thanksgiving. Kristi, however, wasn't really showing at all as of Christmas. Those people who know her could tell a little, but for the most part, at three months she was still wearing her regular clothes. Then all of a sudden one day, she couldn't button her jeans. I was mad at her for letting herself go like that until she reminded me that I was outpacing her as far as weight gaining goes (more on that later.) So she came up with a simple solution: she would wear her button-fly jeans and just wear them with a couple of the top buttons open under her shirt. That seemed to work, but to make sure there weren't any embarrassing moments in the hallway, she got some ponytail holders and wrapped them around the open buttons so they would be stretchy, but not hanging out there flapping completely.

I was embarrassed about it because it seemed tacky, but it worked for her. She had received some gift certificates to Motherhood (maternity store) for Christmas, but she couldn't find any maternity pants that she liked or that would fit her yet. The ponytail thing actually worked for a couple of weeks. Progressively, more buttons were held together by ponytail holders. The one morning toward the end of January Kristi actually popped a couple of the ponytail things off. And if she walked around with any more buttons undone, you could see it when she sat. I figured it was all right for my wife to look a little like white trash with rubber bands holding her pants on (after all- it was her choice), but I didn't want her to look like a total slob. So that afternoon we went back to Motherhood and she finally fit into some maternity jeans.

As an added bonus, the jeans actually look really good on her. I enjoy the big blue stretchy area in the front. I still giggle a little every time I see it. It kinda looks like a radar nose cone on an airplane. Now if I could just get Kayci to go, "bing... bing..."

Fatty, Fatty Quite Contrary, How Does Your Baby Grow?

Several of the pregnancy books that we ran right out and bought after we found out we were pregnant back in the fall said that it's not uncommon for the husband to have morning sickness right along with the mother. Apparently even aches and pains and weight gain in the father is not uncommon, either. I laughed because I found each of these quite funny.

As Kristi's Baby grew (that's how we referred to her belly) we began noticing something strange: my Baby was getting bigger, too. I was getting a little pot belly to match Kristi's. I always gain a few pounds at the holidays, mainly due to the fact that I eat a lot and don't usually get back into the workout mode until February or March. I didn't pay any attention to it at all because I never have any problems losing those pounds. A few days of smaller portions and a little time on the treadmill takes care of it every time. After all, I've never gained more than about four pounds over a holiday season. No big deal.

Then we went to the doctor on February 5. Kristi weighed herself and over the course of her pregnancy, she had only gained six pounds. She was a little concerned about this, but the doctor said not to worry about it. Then I weighed myself. I knew exactly how much I was SUPPOSED to weigh (I weigh myself every time I go to the gym and it hasn't fluctuated much in the past couple of years). My pre-pregancy weight was between 172 and 175. It depended on the day, but that was normal. The doctor's scale said I weighed 188. I was shocked.

That means that in a best case scenario, I had gained 13 pounds and in the worst case, I had ballooned 16 pounds in three months. I almost requested liposuction right then and there. That's the most I have EVER weighed. When I graduated from high school I weighed 135. When I got married I topped out at 150. Then I got a sedentary job and weighed 166 when I began freelancing about two and a half years ago. I had gained 50 pounds in nine years! I'm not even a father yet and I'm already turning into a fat old bald guy. Seems now that the only thing I'm missing are some plaid Bermuda shorts and dark socks pulled halfway up my shins... and sandals.

So I sit here writing this as I'm about to head off to the gym to work out. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my weight issues. But don't expect me to be truthful.

Daddy's Weight Check - Tuesday, February 11, 2003

180 lbs. - (whew!) Kristi argued with this since I was fully clothed in the doctor's office and wearing my big clunky shoes. In the gym, obviously I wear significantly less. Apparently, she thinks that since it wasn't the same EXACT scale that the reading couldn't possibly correspond to the one at the doctors office. "Apples and oranges..." she told me. I'll give her the clothing thing, but zeroing out a scale isn't rocket science.

The Kid Loves Jazz!

We decided one night after reading in one of the pregnancy books that the baby could hear, we decided that it was time to play a little music for the baby. Kristi was already able to feel her a little bit- it felt like a little flutter inside- so the idea was that I would play music into her belly and she would tell me when the baby moved and what she liked.

So I went and got my laptop. I didn't have much music loaded on it, but I did happen to have the Bambi Soundtrack (one of my favorites from when I was little). So I placed some headphone speakers up against Kristi's belly and let the music roll. Almost immediately, Kristi said she could feel the baby fluttering and moving around a little.

Then I started searching for other instrumental stuff that I had loaded on my laptop. Since it was just a few weeks after Christmas, I still had the Charlie Brown Christmas album by the Vince Giraldi Trio. I played that and the baby went nuts! She said that it felt like she was dancing in there.

Cool. The baby likes jazz. I can dig it, man. Yeah... So I naturally figured that the baby would like a little swing music and maybe some big band stuff. So I added "Jump Jive and Wail" and a bunch of Glenn Miller to the baby's playlist. I kept adding- Enya, Michael W. Smith, Dances With Wolves, a little of The Police, some Eric Johnson, some Satriani, a couple of Air Supply tunes- you know, stuff with good melodies or lots of instrumentals.

So every night like clockwork we would climb into bed and I would play music into the belly. If Kristi fell asleep, I could usually tell what the baby was doing by the way Kristi would twitch suddenly. The baby could care less about Enya or most of that stuff; the baby just wanted to hear Charlie Brown.

I figure that the baby has very advanced musical tastes already. In fact, I'm slowly adding some of my favorite muic to the playlists. Every now and then I'll slip in a new song. Before long, we'll work our way up to some Jimmy Eat World and Incubus and later some Rush and some Van Halen or Metallica.

I'll teach the baby to play the drums from inside the womb! I'll begin by using drumsticks to lightly play on the outside of Kristi's belly so that the baby can learn the basics. Then maybe in a couple of months I'll try to get Kristi to eat a snare drum so the kid can practice.

This is gonna be great...

Surfing With the Alien

On Wednesday, February 5 we went to the Women's Hospital for our long awaited BIG ultrasound when we were told we should be able to find out what the baby is. Kristi's mom and dad went with us (we couldn't have kept them away if we tried.)

After checking in, Kristi was ushered off to a little room. A few minutes later, the technician came out and told us we could come in. There was Kristi in a tiny little room wearing another paper-thn gown, lying on a table.

The room looked like a lot of the video editing suites I've been in- dark and a little chilly and monitors and blinking lights everywhere. The technician took a white squeeze bottle and squirted blue jelly all over Kristi's belly. Surprisingly enough, the jelly tasted nothing like blueberries.

Then the magic began. The technician took her little ultrasound wand, which looks remarkably like a hand-held barcode scanner at the store, and started poking around on Kristi's belly. Pretty soon she had located the baby. The first thing we saw was the baby's head.

Looking at an ultrasound is beautiful and scary all at once. You're there looking at your baby moving around, but you have to use a lot of imagination. As you can see on the video page, the baby looks like a little skeleton and a kind of like an alien space monster in there (which might explain why most babies look like Yoda when they pop out). Soon you begin to realize what you're looking at by the bone shapes.

The technician showed us the baby's heart fluttering and began taking measurements of bone length and various other things. She took measurements for about 30 minutes. We saw a lot of the little person in there, but we still had no idea what the sex was. We saw little hands and feet and arms and legs. We saw the baby grab and play with its foot. We saw it kick and flex its hand. It was truly amazing.

Then Kristi asked if the technician thought it was a boy or a girl. The tech said she though she knew, but that she couldn't officially tell us- that was for the doctor to do.

Then the doctor came in, took a good look with the ultrasound and said that there were definitely not any boy parts.

We're having a girl!

So, for those of you who were betting- now you know. And the boy bets were running high (myself and Kristi included). I forget what the exact odds the bet makers in Vegas had on it, but those who picked a girl are gonna be rich. It also just goes to show that sometimes old wives don't
know squat 'bout birthin' no babies...

Most people thought it was a boy because:

1. I'm so damn manly that people figured that's all I could make

2. The baby has been VERY active. Most old wives say that points to boy

3. Kristi has been carrying the baby fairly low, and most old wives say that points to boy

4. Most little kids have been telling Kristi she's got a boy in there. Old wives think that little kids can tell. Only Hanna has consistently said she thought pink.

5. Kristi didn't have a really rough first trimester. She didn't throw up once and didn't really have any cravings to speak of. Most old wives say that points to boy.

6. She hasn't gained much weight over the course of her pregnancy so far. Most old bitties say that points to boy. I say that points to healthy living (and the lack of any serious sweets cravings).

When the tech started the video, Kayci (who had been very active during the preceeding 45 minutes of ultrasound) settled down and basically just layed there. As you can see on the video, she must be getting tired because she yawns a few times. At one point, just after a big yawn, she drapes her arm over the top of her head.

During the video, I began by talking to Kayci. It's totally irrational, but just after I said hello to her, on the ultrasound the put her hand in front of her and moved it around as if she was waving or perhaps reaching for the sound. Now, I know that she has no idea what a wave is yet and doesn't have enough control of her motor skills to be able to wave, but it was a really fun coincidence. Oh, wait... this is MY baby. She's a prodigy, so it is possible- probably very likely- that not only was she waving at me through mommy's belly, she was probably telling me that she loves me using sign language. Being a dumb boy, I don't actually know and sign language- except for one- so it was totally lost one me. And had she given me the sign language that I know, well, let's just say it would mean we're in for a ROUGH ride...

AND NOW A WORD FROM MOMMY...

Okay, I’m a slacker. While I’ve enjoyed the website this past week (when I’ve had time to look at it—things have been CRAZY at work!), I’ve done nothing to actually contribute. So, here’s my first oh-fficial journal entry. Tonight we met my mom for dinner at China Ko, went shopping, then went back to mom & dad’s to deliver a light bulb and watch the ending of “The Bachelorette.” Seriously, this is our life now. Since we’ve been pregnant, we’ve been spending lots of nights doing humdrum stuff—watching TV, reading, just hanging out at home. Yes, I said watching TV. Not something we’ve done a lot of these past few years (we gave up cable to afford the Heights!), but it’s been kind of fun to rediscover the couch. I figure we better enjoy it while we can. If Kayci is this active IN the womb, I’m nervous thinking about what she’ll be like OUT of it. Aunt Mel wished for a baby with my hair & Daddy’s energy—Aunt Mel, if that happens, you’d better move back so Kayci will have a place to stay when Mommy & Daddy are worn out. ONE Daddy is enough, thank you very much.

I’m enjoying pregnancy and imagining what this little person will be like. She already has a very definite personality, and never hesitates to let me know what she thinks about what I’m doing or eating. She’s advanced from flutters to light jabs and kicks. I’m amazed at how quickly she changes. And speaking of changes, for those of you (like me) who are ignorant about pregnancy and the woman’s body, let’s just say that pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. I’ve got stretch marks (sorry, it IS genetic, the expensive creams DON’T work), hair on my tummy, and let’s not even talk about the frown my belly button has developed this week. And we’re only halfway there—it hasn’t even gotten gross, yet! I don’t even want to think about what my body is going to do over the next 5 months. I only hope I can look it in the eye when this is said and done…

I’ve enjoyed reading James’ journal entries, both on the web and in the journal we bought to write letters to the baby (now we can call her Kayci) throughout the pregnancy and, hopefully, through the years. But who are we kidding—so far, we’re averaging about one entry per month. Anyway, it’s fun to hear James’ side of this thing. I’d say it’s definitely the lighter side; he helps me to see the humor in the little things when I’m stressed out. This is definitely a team effort, and I can’t imagine it any other way. I’m not nesting yet, but all I want to do is basically hang out with my boy and dream about Kayci. That’s what got us into this in the first place…

Those of you wondering about all of the leather jacket comments on the web site, keep wondering :). As is typical of the James and Kristi saga, the story is a bit too off-color to be shared with the world, but too funny to keep to ourselves. So, you know a bit more than you should about “where Kayci’s come from.”

It’s time for bed. That’s another thing—bedtime is running about an hour earlier than usual, and my body refuses to sleep for less than eight hours. I rarely get to school “early” anymore—shocking to some of you, I’m sure! But, alas, the bed and Kayci’s headphones are calling. Daddy loaded several new CDs today: classical, Christian, Dido, Avril Levigne, and Kenny Rogers. We’ll see what the boss likes…my money is still on Charlie Brown. Will somebody please tell her that Christmas is over, already? I wouldn’t mind if she wanted to hear just the Charlie Brown theme, but it’s the Christmassy stuff that really gets her going. As for Daddy and me, we’re staunch believers in no Christmas til after Thanksgiving. Great. Another reason to wonder who’s baby this really is…

Daddy's Weight Check... Friday, February 14, 2003

180.5 lbs - slipped a little. Damn! That's okay... with what I've eaten in the past couple of days, I'm surprised I haven't gained 10 pounds.

A Three-Cat Bunk Bed

After we found out that Kayci would be a girl, the task of getting the nursery ready kicked a little more into high gear. We had previously gotten a crib from one of Kristi's former coworkers in Dallas. I had painted the nursery while Kristi was out of town a few weeks before. Now, of course, it was time to begin thinking about all the other furniture and crap we would throw in there.

My dad had told us that he wanted to "sponsor" the changing table. So while Kristi and I were out shopping one day we found a changing table that she liked and matched the crib really well. So we got it. Dad and my brother Adam came over around lunch time to see the ultrasound video and to have lunch. Afterward, we decided to put the changing table together. We made short work of it.

I should back up at this point and point out that the "nursery" is actually a sunroom attached to the master bedroom. There's no door (yet), just a wide opening and a room that, at some time during our home's 82-year history, was outside and probably a screen room. In that room we used to have a little antique bed (the "little green bed"), Kristi's granmother's antique dresser, a rocker and an Elliptix- a piece of excercise equipment that Kristi HAD to have to improve her life back at the end of college but had actually only been used a handful of times for anything other than a clothes hanger. The room was our cats' domain. They spent most of their days in there either sleeping on the little green bed or peering out the window at the world.

So it came as quite a shock to them when I took the bed apart and put it in the attic, moved the rocker and dresser out and we gave away the elliptix. They still hung around the empty room all day, leaving wads of cat hair everywhere. They figured that we had cleared out the room for them, of course, as a playroom. Then the crib showed up. They thought, "hey! We got a new bed!" and took turns jumping in and out of it until we put the railing up.

So then this changing table appears. The changing table consists of an upper area, padded for chaging the baby, and two lower shelves for storing diapers and wipes and other stuff I'm deathly afraid of. So there are three flat surfaces. We have three cats. Coincidence? The cats didn't think so.

It wasn't long before the cats descended and began inspecting this new thing in their room. Big Kitty and Buddy were the most bold and jumped up to the top immediately. Then Lucy got in on the act and settled into the lower shelf. This alternated periodically and at various times each of them got to be on the "top bunk." Sometimes two of them would curl up together on top and bask in the sun. Three cats never had it so good.

Then one day Buddy got in a bad mood over something and went on a tear. He first ripped into a garbage bag that was full of paper. He chewed up some paper that Kristi had to take to work and ripped a hole in the padding of the changing table. We know it was Buddy because (1) he's the only one with claws and (2) I caught him on the changing table. As soon as he saw me, he apparently knew he had done something wrong and took off like a shot. I didin't see him for awhile.

So now there's a hole in the padding and the cats are no longer allowed on the changing table at all. It took a couple of days- and Big Kitty didn't seem to understand at all- but they've been pretty good about staying down.

Daddy's Weight Check - Thursday, February 20

179 pounds. Yes! Lost one pound and back in the 70s!!! It's a minor victory, but I consider it a victory all the same because there are some people who diet for WEEKS and can't seem to lose a single pound. And I haven't really been dieting, just cutting down on the sweets. Just think how much weight I would have lost if I hadn't had that double mustard Whopper with Cheese, onion rings and 44oz drink just before I went...

Feeling the Kick – Sunday, March 2

Kristi’s belly has been getting really big the past couple of weeks. And the cool thing is that you can really feel where Kayci is now. Sometimes she’s down low on the right side, sometimes she’s up high. Sometimes she goes deep inside and you can barely feel her. One night last week Kristi woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to “feel my baby.” Naturally, I placed my hand on my belly. But she grabbed my hand and put it on her belly instead. Kayci was straight up and down. It was really cool. It almost felt as if Kristi had swallowed a dachshund. It’s amazing to me how much that little girl moves around in there…

On that subject, we went down to Kristi’s parents’ beach house to spend the night. When we woke up this morning, Kayci was still asleep apparently, but she was big and down low. I’ve been very jealous for some time because Kristi can feel her kick and move and when she wakes up. But I always try to feel her anyway. So this morning lying in bed Kristi announced that Kayci was awake, so I put my hand on The Belly.

I had only had my hand there for a few seconds when I felt this little push from inside. It was very definite. Now, other times I’ve thought I’ve felt Kayci, but I was never sure it was more than some kind of violent pregnant-lady gas thing because it didn’t really feel like anything. But this was a kick. It was hard! Not so hard that it kicked my hand away, but it was a definite pressure… a message from the inner depths of Baby Land. Kristi confirmed that when she said, “did you feel that?” Apparently, Kayci was hungry and not too happy about it…

I kept feeling for a little while longer, but never did get the same type of kick again. Finally, we had to get up, but I was happy knowing that I had actually felt a kick. Mommy’s baby monopoly is over!!!

Daddy’s Weight Check – Wednesday, March 5

178 lbs (Kristi gets weighed again on Friday the 7th… more on that later)

The Tale of the Baby Monitor – Wednesday, March 5

Kristi and I went to Target to pick up a couple of maternity shirts one night with a gift certificate that Melissa gave us as a thank you for letting her pretend to sleep on our couch while being constantly barraged by Buddy and Big Kitty. On our way toward the front we decided to go ahead and make our normal cruise through the baby section to ooh and aaw at all the cute baby clothes. As we were about to leave, we happened to pass by a shelf of baby monitors. At the very beginning of her pregnancy, Kristi saw a monitor that could also be used as a pre-natal listening device but hadn’t seen it since. Lo and behold, sitting on the top shelf was the very monitor she had been looking for. We picked up the box and immediately noticed that it had been opened and most probably returned. So we decided to scan it using one of the little scanners on the aisles.
Naturally, it wasn’t in the computer. Then Kristi happened to notice the remnants of a Wal-Mart price tag on the side of the box. We knew immediately what had happened… someone had bought it cheap at Wal-Mart and returned it at Target to make a few bucks on the transaction. So we took the box to Customer Service to see if they could tell us how much it was.

I smelled blood in the water and when the customer service lady couldn’t find it in the computer, either. I knew it was time to haggle.

Haggling is a lost art that runs deep in my family. Kristi and I once got a grill for $2. My entire living room in college was furnished for $5 (a $3 book case and $2 recliner). My dad even talked a guy out of a glass-top table for my college dining room for $10.

The customer service lady finally called her manager over to determine a price for the baby monitor. The manager wanted us to find a monitor on the shelf and use a price from one of those. Kristi and I were never a better team:

Kristi: “This one’s been opened. Besides, it was really cheap when you used to carry it.”
James: “Yeah… look how dirty this is. It’s obviously been used.”
Kristi: “And look. This is a Wal-Mart price tag.”
Manager: “Well, it’s not in the computer.”
James: “I’ll give you three bucks for it.”
Manager: “Uh…”
James: “I’ll even go as high as five dollars.” (I was joking, of course, but you never know…)
(long pause)
Manager: Okay, charge them $4.48 for it. But the problem comes if you try to return it since it’s not in the computer.”
Kristi: “Believe me. For four dollars, we’re not going to return it.”
James: “We’ll even promise not to return it.”
Kristi: “You can even write ‘Do Not Return’ on the box.”
Manager: “Okay.”

We paid cash and got the hell out of there before they changed their mind.

When we got home we hooked it up and put the baby monitor on Kristi’s belly. I moved it around a little and we heard various gurglings and thumps. After a minute or so I took the monitor away. As soon as I did, Kayci kicked. Not just any kick, but a HUGE kick. Kristi’s belly actually moved! I saw it. It looked like somebody trying to kick through the inside of a waterbed. I actually saw a place raise where she kicked.

We couldn’t get her to do it again like that, so we figured we probably pissed her off pretty well with all the poking and prodding. Kristi felt her move inside, but I never did feel her kick again that night. And I’ll bet she went and hid behind Kristi’s spleen or something because we never really could hear her heartbeat that night either.

 

Spring Break… Friday, March 14 (Mommy's Journal)

Well, here we are at Day 7 of Spring Break. I had high hopes for a restful week, but once again vacation is ending and I wish I had ANOTHER week just to recover from this one! It’s been a whirlwind week—a quick trip to Kansas, then home and straight into home-shopping. Today we’re going to look at round 2 of houses, and we’re starting to get really excited. James is dreading the moving part of it; it’s weird for me to think about not being able to help much with the actual work part of it. Last time, James and I moved everything out of storage and into this house by ourselves in one day. This time, we’ll have to bribe our friends to help. Hopefully they’ll take pity on a pregnant woman!

I’m excited about living closer to my school and the church, and I’m also excited about putting together the home where Kayci will start her life. She’ll actually have a closet (those are very rare out here in the Heights; her current room has NO storage). It’s the little things, you know? J
It’s funny—I’ve made several journal entries about the DEC audit we just went through at school, the search for a priest, and my trip to Kansas. I just can’t think of anything interesting to post on the website. So, feel free to come over and read my journal for the rest of the story!

Weight news: last Friday, we went in for our 6th month checkup. Everything’s great. Kayci’s strong and healthy, and right on target for size (my mom thinks she must be huge, so that was a weight off!). I’m doing well, and yes, I’ve actually gained weight! I think it must be all of the fast food I ate while preparing for the DEC audit, and the fact that all of my time has been spent at school for the last month going over final details. Anyway, I gained 8 pounds last month! Now I’ve got to get back on the healthy eating and exercising wagon to make sure that doesn’t happen again J. But I was excited—I was starting to wonder if I was doing something wrong!

My mom finished Kayci’s quilt last week; now she’s starting on baby blankets. Once we move, she’ll bring the sewing machine over and put together the crib bumpers and bed skirt. We have the rocking chair; James is going to strip it and see if it can be stained to match the rest of her furniture. We’ve got lots of little projects on hold until we figure out our living situation.
Speaking of “on hold,” this will come as a shock to most of you, but I haven’t cleaned house in ALMOST 2 WEEKS! Between DEC and Kansas, I didn’t have the time or energy. Now that I’m back, James keeps telling me “it’s okay—we’re about to have to clean it all and pack anyway. Wait ‘til tomorrow…” But, there are dishes in the sink and folded laundry on the dining room table, and I’m getting tired of messy. I guess I’ll break down and get things back together before I go back to school on Monday. My goal is to start my “mommy schedule” next week—be at work at 7, leave by 4. We’ll see how it works out, but I really want to get in the habit of getting home early so I can work on house or baby stuff before we go to the park or the Y. Also, I know in a month or so I’ll be worn out by 4, and I want to have some built-in rest time. We’ll see how it goes!

James will be back from his bike ride any time now; I need to go iron and get dressed for our meeting with the realtor. Later today we’re going over to Ronny & Amy’s for dinner—we haven’t played with the kids in forever, so we’re excited. We talked about going to the Bob Bullock museum in Austin tomorrow, but now I’m thinking a quiet day at home sounds good. I’d like to rent some old movies and just veg on the couch—guess I’d better get busy on the house today so I can enjoy being lazy!

-----------------

As I’m writing this it’s early May and the time since my last journal entry has been a blur, but I’ll try my best to remember what’s been going on.

How to Buy A House Without Actually Having A Job
March was a crazy month. It started out with me getting the news that Goodson, my primary client, was dissolving their in-house ad agency and moving all their TV and radio production to Arkansas. So, basically I had lost my job. But, being a freelance artist, that’s one of the risks so I began feverishly putting together my website and portfolio to try to sell myself to local ad agencies and production houses. That was a huge undertaking. This all ties in to Kayci because the timing couldn’t have been worse. I’m not complaining. I just wouldn’t have chosen for things to happen as they did. Losing your primary source of income isn’t something you’d chose to do with a baby due in three months. But regardless, my cheese had been moved, so I decided to make lemonade (to totally botch a couple of metaphors.)

Also, our lease on our house was up at the end of March, so we had a big decision to make. Do we stay in our house in the Heights and try to tough it out paying a whole lot of rent or try to find a modestly-priced house to buy that’s closer to Kristi’s school and our church (the two sources of most of our driving)? It didn’t take us long to decide that even though we didn’t to, it made sense to move.

I was supposed to go camping in Big Bend with my Uncle Phil over Spring Break, but as luck would have it, he couldn’t go do to a job opportunity. That actually worked out really well for us because it gave my and Kristi time while she was on Spring Break to begin looking at houses. We knew the general area where we would look- on the east side of town near Kristi’s school and our church (and also where Kayci’s babysitter will be.) We also knew that parts of the area we would be looking in were heavily flooded in June 2001, so we wanted a realtor from the neighborhood who would know exactly which areas had flooded and which hadn’t (as it turns out, that was a really good decision because a lot of the homes we looked at online listed no flood damage or no defects when we knew for certain that they were flooded- completely- in one case.)

God must have been watching out for us. We knew of a real estate agent at our church and we contacted her. However, she had recently quit real estate and let her license expire, but she referred us to another agent in the area whom she knew. We contacted the agent, Irene, and began going around looking at houses in the price range we wanted. We probably looked at fifteen or twenty houses in the course of a week. We drove right by several. Most of the ones we looked at were “fixer uppers” that would require quite a bit of work. But they were cheap, and that’s what we thought we needed. One house we saw needed to just be burned to the ground. It was just that bad.
By the Friday of spring break, we were beginning to get discouraged. We had seen some houses that would work, but none that really jumped out or that would feel like home. Now is when the God part that I mentioned earlier comes in. At this point we were looking at houses that earlier in the week we had not even wanted to see. There was one house on a street called Laguna that was kind of a dark avacado green color that was listed in our price range. Right next door was a cute little house that was for sale, but was SO much nicer than the avacado house that we figured it wasn’t even worth looking at because we figured it was well beyond our price range.

But our agent insisted that we look at this house on Laguna. We said we weren’t interested, but she insisted. So we went to look at the house next to the avacado house. It was a cute little house. The front yard was very well manicured and it looked very well taken care of. We went inside and knew immediately that the house was in MUCH better condition than anything else we had seen. We took the tour of the house, getting more and more excited as we went. It had three bedrooms, a large living/dining room, a good size kitchen, a garage, a large room for me to use as a studio space and then… We went into the back yard. Stepping into the back yard, the first thing you notice is that there are no trees -- only green grass. Next, you notice that the yard slopes gently toward the house. Finally, you notice a tin-covered building, perfect for a pit smoker and some chairs. I could see having barbecues and crawfish boils and birthday parties in this back yard. And a swing set and a barefoot little girl running around in the grass.

We tried to contain our excitement until we got back into the car with the agent. We knew this house would go fast. But why hadn’t it gone already? It has been on the market for about a month. It turns out that reason it hadn’t sold was because the people who lived there were friends with another agent in the office where our realtor worked. They didn’t want to pay a full commission, so they worked out a deal to pay half commission, which meant that the house would only be shown out of that one office and wouldn’t show up on a web search. So only the agents in that office could show the house or even knew about it! We didn’t see it until later, but it was the hand of God working, looking out for us- I’m sure of it.

We made an offer that very afternoon. After a few counter offers, we finally agreed on a price. We were going to be homeowners- and have what I really wanted- a back yard for Kayci to play in.

 

The MS150 – OR- Getting to Austin the Hard Way

During the month of March and the first part of April I was training for the MS150, which is an annual bike ride from Houston to Austin benefiting the National MS Society. I was training, and ultimately riding, with David Smith and David Powell, two of the guys from our church and also members of the worship band.

So on April 12 we set out, along with 11,000 others, in this massive sea of people and metal on our journey. I’ll save the details of the ride for another time and place, but I have to mention that I was incredibly moved on the ride. I guess the prospect of being a father really changes the way you think about things because I’m not the most emotional guy in the world. I think the only movie I’ve ever cried in was “The Bridges of Madison County”- and then only because my left arm had fallen asleep and I was afraid I might have to amputate it.

But riding along, I would pass (or be passed by, as was most often the case) someone who had a sign on their back that said they were riding for (insert name here). I thought, “wow. That’s great. What a nice guy.” Then I ran across a guy who actually had a picture of his family on his back- himself, his wife, and two good-looking kids. Underneath he had written, “riding for Sarah- wife and mother – diagnosed with MS April 2002.”

The very thought of this mother being diagnosed with a debilitating disease sent chills down my spine. Even though we were out on the road, in the middle of climbing a hill, I couldn’t help but tear up. I finally realized that I was about to bawl like a baby and re-focused on the task at hand, which at the time was not running into this really fat lady that I was about to pass. But it really hit a soft spot for some reason- much like I would have done if I had smacked into that fat lady.

My sister was diagnosed with Leukemia just days before she turned two, so I was pretty accustomed to being around sick people. I had actually become pretty numb to it. But that was 20 years ago (holy crap- I’m telling a story from 20 years ago!) Now, the very thought of something bad happening to Kayci terrifies me. I try not to dwell on that, but the thought does cross my mind occasionally when I’m watching some health report on the news or when I see a young cancer patient. I consider those people among the bravest in the world- so young, with so much to see and do still- fighting for their very existence. I pray every chance I get that Kayci will turn out healthy. I imagine that most parents do. I’ve seen the other side, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
So all of a sudden the MS150 became about a lot more than just a butt-kicking challenge to ride 182 miles on a bike. It suddenly became real.

Then, later in the ride, there would be wheelchair-bound people with MS on the side of the road cheering us on and thanking us for riding. That made it that much more real. I almost lost it then, and even now the thought and image of those people moves me to the point of tears.

 

DADDY’S WEIGHT CHECK
Well, training for and riding in the MS150 has taken care of my weight problem. I now weight 68 pounds and am getting hate mail from Calista Flockhart.

 

Packing & Moving – Instructions for Spouses of Pregnant Women
When planning to move and packing up your house, it is vital that every crappy job be justified in your mind by making it about your baby. By having your family and friends come over to help you pack, it saves her stress and therefore puts less stress on the baby. By cleaning the ceiling fans- scrubbing them so they damn near shine (also known as Kristi clean), it saves her from having to get up on a chair and do it, avoiding the possibility that she’ll fall and hurt the baby.

Packing with a hormonal 7-month pregnant woman is NOT easy. During the entire process, I didn’t feel as if I could do ANYTHING right. Chalk that one up to the baby, also. I started packing my office up early for the move. Suddenly I was in trouble because that wasn’t a priority. I should be packing other parts of the house. Okay. Then, when it came time for the movers to come my office was still not packed. I was in trouble again. So I went into my office to pack up. Well, I was doing wrong. It seems that now I had played around and there wasn’t time to pack my office the way I wanted to- going through stuff and throwing away things as I went. Now I was only to “throw stuff in boxes and sort through it later.” Well, hell.

Looking back, I can’t really recall WHAT I did during the packing phase. I sort of remember packing nick-nacks from the living room into boxes, but that’s about it. I know- because Kristi told me exactly 397 times- that she packed up the kitchen and cleaned all the floors so I could shampoo the carpets and polish the wood floors. I honestly have no idea how I contributed to the move, other than renting a truck and calling the movers. I probably walked around in circles mumbling incoherently to myself like Ozzy does on the Osbournes.

But I’m sure I only did it for the baby. I mean, really… Babies need to learn how to mumble somehow.

 

How to Travel 1500 miles with a Pregnant Woman
In typical James & Kristi fashion, two days after we moved- with lots of stuff still in the old house yet to be moved and a new houseful of nothing but boxes- we loaded up the car and drove to Kansas for Kristi’s family reunion. It’s roughly 600 miles to Iola, Kansas from Houston and the trip- pre-pregnancy- takes about 11 or 12 hours, depending on traffic and how many stop we take.
Well, with a pregnant lady in the car the bathroom breaks increase exponentially. In addition to that, we have to stop to walk for about 15 minutes. Then there’s meal stops.

So basically, the once 12-hour trip now takes 3 and a half weeks.

That’s not to say that the trip was bad. It was actually a very nice trip, but it just seemed to take forever getting there. Kristi was a trooper, though. I know she was uncomfortable most of the time, but she didn’t complain. I, on the other hand, would have been complaining the entire time if I were in her shoes. They probably would have had to put up a soundproof divider between the front and back seat, like in a limousine.

The only tip I have for traveling with a 7-and-a-half month pregnant woman is the same I would give to someone who just adopted a Bengal tiger- keep her well fed, well watered and as comfortable as possible. And if she says she wants to stop- by God stop ASAP.

------------------------------

MOMMY'S JOURNAL - 7 May 2003
Okay, so I’ll be a better Mommy than a journal writer. :)

So much has happened since I last wrote, it’s hard to know where to start. So I’ll just start…

A Day in the Life (the NEW life, when James has lots of free time!)
James surprised me by contacting BESS, the internet filter we use at school, and having them “open” his website so my friends & I can view the site at school. That was a great surprise! He came to school today to photograph my class doing our science fair project. It was verrrrrrrrrrrrrry scientific—we did an experiment with different shaped bubble blowers. Shock of shocks, no matter what, the bubbles are round. But it was fun “proving” it! It was nice to have James here during such a wild time—Elaine was absent today, so my kids were just freaking out. But to have an “outsider” made it easier to laugh at their antics and see the humor in it. So, thanks to my boy and his visit, I’m having a great day!

Home Sweet Home
We now officially live at 13213 Laguna. I won’t say we’re settled, but it’s nice to have all of our belongings in one location. Things are slowly coming together. James surprised me by unpacking the kitchen Monday night while I was at the District Awards Ceremony (I didn’t win anything, but I did get a $200 check for working 5 years in GPISD. I felt like a winner!). After a long search for the Pop-Tarts this morning it’s clear that I’ll need to do some reorganizing…eventually…but it’s sure nice to have things put away. What a boy! I think I’ll keep him :).

Mom is coming over tonight to put the finishing touches on Kayci’s crib; she finished the bedskirt and bumper pads. We’ll do curtains, etc. this weekend. Our goal is to have her room finished by the shower on the 17th. That’s our goal for the whole house, but we know people will especially want to see Kayci’s room. My $200 bonus check will buy her an IKEA dresser; guess we’ll make that trek this weekend. After the dresser and curtains, her room is basically done. Except for all of her stuff, and that will come in time.

And back to the Mom thing, so far it’s been great living so close to Mom & Dad. They’ve been VERY helpful in setting up our house. Dad’s helped James with the manly stuff, and Mom has helped me with unpacking, etc. It’s great knowing they’re just around the corner and it’s not a big deal to drop in or have them drop by. And, the food is definitely better at their house :). We’ll try not to mooch too much, but it’s shrimp & crab time, so all bets are off for a while!

To defend myself, I think I was very patient and worked my butt off during the move. James did his share (for the record, his share was mostly moving the boxes that I had packed out of my way). And he did pack 2 boxes of knick knacks. And he did clean ceiling fans and polish the wood floor. And pack the refrigerator. And help with carpet cleaning. And piddle in his office, because that’s what it looked like to me. He just didn’t do things on MY schedule, and that was ticking me off. Thank goodness we’re through it. This week he’s really worked hard on unpacking things (the kitchen? I’d have never guessed!) and clearing out the guest room so we can bring in the furniture. He’s having fun with the backyard; he surprised me by planting sunflowers (my FAVORITE) and the fun daisy bushes, as well as some wildflowers. The sunflowers are coming up fast—I can’t wait! He’ll be embarrassed, but I have to tell you about James’ evening last night. After Bible study he wasn’t tired, so he went out and sat under the stars and ate peanuts in the backyard. Yes, peanuts. I thought he was crazy, of course, but it fulfilled some need he had. He came to bed a happy boy :).

Down Time
This has definitely been a wild and crazy couple of weeks. I’m exhausted inside and out, but I can’t stress enough how BLESSED I have been through this whole pregnancy. All of our family & friends are soooooooo supportive (James’ mom packed my dishes for me—and wrapped every piece individually. She’s practically a saint!). My friends have been great at offering help whenever I’ve needed it, and just letting me vent at other times. Being pregnant has really shown us what a wonderful support group we have between our families, friends, people we work with, and our church family. We’ve felt nothing but loved, and we can’t wait for Kayci to meet all of the wonderful people who have been waiting on her. It’s hard to believe the wait is almost over!
Next time, remind me to talk about Childbirth Class and our trip to Kansas.

------------------------------

MOMMY'S JOURNAL 20 MAY, 2003

Backtracking…
Last time I left off without talking about Kansas. We went to Kansas for my Grandma’s 93rd birthday (the famous “Clara” of Kayci Clara). My mom rode with us. The doctor had no problem with us traveling, and just warned us to stop every 60 or 90 minutes and walk 10 minutes. Okay, I just erased about 15 minutes of writing about the trip, about how uncomfortable the traveling was. It was uncomfortable, I don’t recommend traveling this late in pregnancy to anyone, and I have a new set of varicose veins because of it. We’ll leave it at that. As for the weekend itself, it was great to see all of my family. We had a great visit, and my Grandma was in good health and good spirits so she had a good time, too. It was really important to me that we go this time (even though we couldn’t really afford it, I was way too tired, and we should have been moving out of our house!) because I wanted to see my Grandma. It’s hard knowing that I won’t be able to see her again until September. But, what a great time we’ll have to look forward to—I’ve prayed for years that Grandma would live to see my baby, and knowing that she’ll be holding Kayci Clara soon is such a blessing (and an answered prayer!).

Childbirth Class
Our “Preparing for Childbirth” class has really brought it home—we’re not just pregnant; we’re getting a BABY. It’s really made it all real. And those labor & birth videos are not for the weak at heart, let me tell you. I’ve really enjoyed the classes, and I think it was money well spent because I feel like I know 300% more about labor than when we started. The breathing and relaxation things we’ll do in labor aren’t that far from my yoga practice, so I feel like I can DO this. My goal is to go without an epidural (only because I had a spinal tap a few years ago and have absolutely no desire to ever repeat the process of somebody sticking a needle into my spine, not because I think I’m strong or anything). So, that makes it very important that we’re a team going into this and that James will help me breathe and relax, and basically get through it. We have a lot of decisions to make pretty quick—how long & hard do I labor before I’ll accept an epidural, forceps or cesarean if it comes down to it, if James will be the only person in the room with me…tough stuff. James has a lot more fears about labor & delivery than I do. At this point, I’m not even not trying to think about stuff—I’m just focusing on getting through it and getting a baby. I hate that he’s going to have to watch me be in pain; I know that feeling helpless to help me will be terrible for him. That’s why I’m excited about what we’re learning in class, because James has a VERY important job as my labor coach, and he’ll have to focus on keeping me going if it’s going to work. He’s not “just” a daddy waiting to see a baby; he’s the guy that’s got to keep us on track and in the zone. I think he’s going to be great! :)
EXCEPT for one little thing…James was too excited to sleep after our first class, and he had a really rough night. He was READY for a baby! So, week 2 comes and he’s pretty jazzed up again after watching the videos. At the end of the class the instructor has us get on the floor to practice some relaxation techniques. As we’re getting the mat set up, James says “Man, I’m not going to be able to sleep again tonight!” He sits down, we get ready and as soon as Shirley (the instructor) starts the exercise, I notice that his breathing slows down and becomes very even (usually he SUCKS at breathing, so I was very impressed). I’m focusing on breathing and following her directions, and the next thing I know something plops down on my head. Yep, it was James’ head. He fell asleep 30 seconds into the exercise and slept the ENTIRE time. He denies it, of course, but I’ve had to tell a few people. It wouldn’t have been so funny if not for his declaration right before we started. And for the record, he slept fine—even after the excitement of his class AND his 20 minute nap.

Showers of Love
Backtracking again…when we got married 5 years ago, I wouldn’t let anyone throw us a shower. I just wasn’t comfortable with being the center of attention and having people bring us gifts for the sake of GIVING us stuff. Let me say that I LOVE showers, love to go to them, love to give them. But I just didn’t know how to be the “shower-ee”. So, when Kayci came around, some of my friends insisted on giving us showers. I couldn’t say no for lots of reasons:
1. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
2. I want people to be able to celebrate Kayci with us.
3. Frankly, we’re poor and we need all the help we can get.
So, it turns out that we’ll be having several Kayci showers. Our first was this weekend. You can go to the PHOTOS page to see pictures. The people that hosted it are Teresa & LeAnn, friends from when I worked at Havard, and Lauren, another Havard friend who is also Kayci’s godmother. Lots of people were unable to attend due to scheduling conflicts, but we had a pretty good crowd. I think there were about 25 people, maybe more if you count babies & kiddos. It was a great shower—it was perfect for us, very laid-back and comfortable. People brought their kids. Some people hung out in the backyard and watched the kids play with bubbles and stuff, and some stayed in and just visited. All in all, it was a fun evening. It started at 4:30, and I was surprised that we still had company after 8. I think people just had fun visiting and hanging out, which is what we hope for when people come over to our house. Coincidentally, this was also the first time we had people over to our house on Laguna (no pressure, we just gave ourselves 3 weeks to get totally moved in AND party-ready. No pressure at all…). I wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought I’d be; I was kind of awed by the fact that so many people love this little one so much already (and us, too). Kayci is very blessed! Kayci’s nursery is in good shape, thanks to our friends! We are very grateful for everything Kayci received, as well as the thought that went into each gift.

The Home Stretch
We’ve been sooooo busy since we decided to move. First it was the stress of buying a house. Then it was the stress of moving out of our house, and into the new one (and squeezing in a trip to Kansas). Once we moved in completely (4/30), we had to work HARD to get everything ready for the shower on May 17th. It took us to the very last second (we had floor to ceiling boxes in the guest room Wednesday, picked up the furniture from Mom & Dad’s on Friday, and had a complete guest room—pictures and all—by 1:00 pm on Saturday the 17th). But it was all worth it, because now our house is as done as it’s going to be until we get a lot more time, money, and energy J. Kayci could come any day now and we’d have a HOME to take her to, not just a house. So after pushing so hard for so long to get things done, you can imagine how TIRED we all are. We’ll make it through, but I’m wanting another burst of energy like I had in months 4-7 of this pregnancy. Right now I just feel LAZY.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The New House
Getting into the new house was also fun. First, everything had to be cleaned. It’s not that the new house wasn’t pretty clean to begin with- the old owners seem to be pretty clean people- but it wasn’t Kristi clean. Also, in getting the house ready to move into, my “honey-do” project list kept getting longer and longer. First, Kristi found out there are hardwood floors under the carpet. Kristi doesn’t like the color of the carpet, so she wanted to rip up the carpet and polish the wood floors before we moved in. Also, the bathroom has maroon and grey tiles. As you find out if you’ve ever been in many houses older than 10 or 15 years, people used to put some way groovy colors into their houses- and especially in the bathroom.

So, we finally got all out stuff into the new house. Now came the part I hate- unpacking and putting everything away. It became very clear while we were packing up our house that we had accumulated a whole lot of crap in the past five years. Now we had to figure out where everything went. Of course, some things were easy. Kayci’s stuff went into her nursery. Duh. But other things- such as pictures and the abundance of knickknacks we have was more difficult. By the way, in Kristi’s journal, she did give me credit for packing up the knickknacks. However, what she failed to mention is the sheer number of knickknacks that we have in our house. Anyone who’s ever been to our house knows that we just have crap sitting everywhere. Bricks, clocks, trophies, jars full of various stuff. It’s not junk- most of this stuff is stuff that we either have some connection to personally, think is really cool or is a family heirloom (such as Kristi’s grandfather’s lunchbox.) So I packed the knickknacks, but the knickknacks actually accounted for about 2/3 of the move. We almost needed to rent two trucks because we had so many knickknacks and keepsakes. I think we were both descended from gypsies. It’s a good thing that our ancestors didn’t come to the New World on the Mayflower. It would’ve taken three trips- “Yes, milady, it is true that thine home shall soon be in America and they have an abundance of gourds and cookery there with which to make delectable meals. But perchance thou art forgetting that there may arise a need for this pot with the huge hole in it that was handed down from thy grandmother’s grandmother. And verily I say unto thee, we shall surely need this brightly colored macramé potholder and thy George Foreman roaster…”

Once we moved into the new house Kristi decided that, as I had been telling her, the carpets were fine and they didn’t need to come up. Luckily, we also found out that the stuff we were going to use to redo the bathroom may cause birth defects in California. That’s what the label said, really. That explains a lot about California.

Anyway, after moving in it was a whirlwind of unpacking and getting ready. We had a goal. On May 17 some of Kristi’s friends were throwing a baby shower at our house and it needed to be ready. It was kinda rough, but we got the house ready in time.

 

Birthing Classes
Ever since about the beginning of the year, at every doctor’s visit they had been asking us if we were taking our birthing classes yet. And we always said, “No- but we will.” Well, in typical James & Kristi fashion, we waited… and waited… and waited. Finally, we got off our butts and started taking the class at the very end of April. It was a one-night a week class for four weeks.

At the first class we walked in and I felt like it was the first day of a new semester all over again. The room was full of chairs and couples were scattered around the room in various places. Now, this is important- Kristi and I were two completely different kinds of students in school. She was the one on the front row of class taking notes and listening intently and actually trying to, you know, learn something. I, however, usually sat in the back of the classroom and drew cartoons. Every now and then- if my grades were seriously in jeopardy- I would sit in the middle of the class and take notes. I once was forced to sit in the first row by a teacher who assigned seats. I hated every day of that semester and blocked most of it out, and to this day I can’t remember anything about that class except the uncomfortable feeling I had. I did get an A in the class, though…

Those are the roles we fell right back into in the birthing class. Somehow I got to choose where we sat, so we naturally sat toward the back middle of the room, since I wanted to learn something. Birthing class was actually cool because you’re sitting in a little room with about 15 other pregnant couples. Each one of us was sitting there with the confidence that we were the cutest couple in the room and would surely produce the cutest baby. I could just feel it.

Anyway, birthing class consisted of just what you might expect a birthing class to cover- how to make yourself hyperventilate. We learned all kinds of breathing techniques. I think, looking back on the class, that the class is actually designed as a cruel joke amongst the doctors and nurses. I think it’s actually a way for a pregnant couple to look ridiculous one last time before having the baby. It’s not bad enough that a pregnant mother has ballooned to the size of some post-WWI European countries and now has to fend off men with pickaxes trying to climb her “because she’s there,” but now she spends the majority of the most special day in her life making completely ridiculous “hee” and “puff” sounds. And the faces that go with that are just as embarrassing. I’ll bet somewhere in the deep recesses of the hospital, the doctors and nurses are sitting there having a huge chuckle about every last one of them as they count their stacks of (well-earned) money.

The highlight of the entire birthing class for me was the first week when we got to take a tour of the hospital and go to the nursery and pick out a newborn baby to take home for a couple of days and “try out.” That was fun. I guess it’s a pretty standard thing. And I guess that if our baby gets picked, that we’ll be good sports about it, too. I just hope they bring her back in as good a shape as they got her. We didn’t get our deposit back on our baby. We decided that instead of experimenting on Kayci, we’d use little Raul as our guinea pig. We found out that babies don’t like strained brussel sprouts, cat food or being hosed off in the backyard. But little Raul DID like frappacino. Man, that kid could spend some money at Starbucks. He must have had ten or twelve the first day…

Also in our class, one of the couples had their baby in the middle of the class. Well, not actually in the MIDDLE of the class. They moved them off to the side so the screaming wouldn’t disrupt everyone else who was trying to watch the video on “gooey yucky stuff that comes out of your body.” Seriously, though… one of the couples had their baby on the third week of class, so they totally missed the part of the class about how to tell when you’re in labor and what to do afterward. I told them I would take notes and pass it along to them. The couple that had their baby had a really cute baby boy. Some of the other people in the class said they were a Lesbian couple. I couldn’t tell they were Lesbian, but they did look a little effeminate- which I hear is a common trait among people from Lesbia. I told them that I hoped that their little boy would grow up to be a fine Lesbian also.

 

Leonard - Every Buddy's Best Friend
For awhile, Kristi slept with pillows between her knees when she slept to make her hips feel better. We found out that during pregnancy a woman’s pelvis becomes the consistency of Silly Putty, which accounts for the aching in the hips all the time. So we went to Wal-Mart and bought Kristi a huge body pillow with a leopard print on it. In typical Kristi style, she decided to name it- Leonard. I wanted to find one with a snake skin print and name it Monty, but no such luck.

Sleeping with this body pillow is a very awkward experience. First of all, it’s VERY hot. I guess it has some sort of magical ability to retain heat. We have to turn the AC down to about 55 degrees just to compensate for the heat of this thing. The bad part is when Kristi decided to turn over in the middle of the night and Leonard isn’t between us anymore keeping me warm. I’m getting used to the hypothermia- induced shivering and vomiting, but coughing up blood is a real bummer just to make your wife comfortable.

That’s another thing- suddenly there’s this extra thing in our bed. We had a king size bed for awhile after we got married, but Kristi and I are both cuddly people and it was too big, so we got a full size bed instead. That was perfect until Kristi started getting REALLY pregnant. Suddenly I was having dreams about mountain climbing as I hung precariously off the side of the bed. Now add a whole other body to the equation and there’s Kristi, Kayci, Leonard and me in the bed. It’s gotten very small. I’m getting used to my four and a half centimeters of sleeping room.

And Leonard has a best friend now. Buddy has adopted Leonard as his own and spends most of his time cuddling with Leonard. It doesn’t matter where Leonard is, either. Buddy will follow Leonard around. He’ll go to the couch with Leonard. He’ll climb under the covers. He’ll switch from side to side with Leonard. A couple of days ago, Buddy slept hanging half off the couch just so he could be with Leonard. It’s gonna be ugly when Leonard has to go away.

Bed Rest
Kristi’s feet and ankles had swelled to Incredible Hulk-size proportions when she went to the doctor on Thursday afternoon. I didn’t go with her because a last minute job had come in that had a tight deadline. That probably just added to the situation. It was the last week of school, so the kids in Kristi’s class were in the middle of losing their friggin’ minds. Kristi had had a rough day, and she got lost on the way to the doctor’s office. So it really wasn’t any surprise when her blood pressure was through the roof. So the doctor put her on mandatory bed rest for the entire weekend- including Friday. When Kristi got home from the doctor’s office, she was pissed. I hadn’t been griped at nearly that much in almost three days, so I knew it was really bad. Just kidding, honey. We were supposed to go to Beaumont for the evening to visit with some of my friends and that was obviously out of the question. Disaster (and divorce) was narrowly averted when Kristi told me to go ahead to Beaumont anyway and I refused. Instead, I went to the movie store and rented eight movies for us to watch over the weekend.

So we watched movies all weekend and layed around. It was actually very nice. I think it was sent by God because we wouldn’t have slowed down and taken time to relax like that if the doctor hadn’t ordered her to do so. We always say we’re going to take it easy and have a quiet weekend, but we never do.

Kristi on bed rest means that I’m basically waiting on her all the time. Suddenly I had my normal everyday work stuff and routine to do in addition to Husband stuff and Daddy stuff and Mommy stuff and Son stuff and Son-in-Law stuff and Friend stuff. It literally took all of my time. It’s been a blur- even more of a blur than normal.

But Kristi was really good and stayed on her back all weekend like she was supposed to, with the occasional exception of getting up to pee or to flip over. When we went to the doctor on Monday morning, Kristi’s blood pressure was mostly back to normal, she had ankles and regular-looking feet again, and she had dropped five pound in fluid weight. The doctor said she could teach summer school half the day and then spend the rest of the day resting. All was right in Kristiland.

 

The Amazing Traveling Baby Shower
On the Sunday of the weekend that Kristi was put on bed rest our church had scheduled a shower for her. Kristi obviously couldn’t get up for it, so I filled in and pulled Daddy AND Mommy duty. It was actually only my third shower EVER, and the first where I actually had to do anything but walk around taking pictures, so I was scared to death. But I had some good help from one of our good friends, and that made it a lot easier. It was actually pretty fun, but I really appreciate Kristi for all the stuff that she does that I have no idea about- such as showers and gift receiving etiquette.

My mom and grandma came to the shower and shot video and photos, respectively. When I got home I played the video for Kristi and as I opened a present on the video I handed the bag to Kristi for her to open, so it was sort of like bringing the shower to her at home. People have since told me that it was a great idea and very thoughtful. Unfortunately, I can’t really take much credit for it- I was just being lazy and figured that it would be easier for her to hear who the present was from as I read the card on the video than trying to remember and screw it up.

 

The day I almost punched the nurse in her stupid mouth
One of the nurses at the doctor’s office is not my favorite. She’s very gruff and doesn’t have a great bedside manner. When we went to the doctor’s office last week, of course we got “the bad nurse.” When she put the little baby sonar device up to Kristi’s belly so she could hear Kayci’s heartbeat she was a little rough and had the machine turned WAY up. She poked around for a little bit trying to find Kayci’s heartbeat. She found it, but the machine was turned up so loud that Kristi’s belly was jumping in time to Kayci’s heartbeat. Since they’re actually using a little sonar device, we’ve read that Kayci can actually FEEL the sound waves bouncing off her little bones and that it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world for her. So with the machine turned up as high as the nurse had it, Kayci must have been miserable and she jumped with every heartbeat she heard coming from the machine.

Then her heartbeat began racing. The nurse said, “oh- I must have scared her.”
The very thought of my littler unborn baby being scared- terrified of something- and having no idea what was happening to her made my sick. I caught myself moving toward the rear of the table where the nurse was standing. I suddenly had this incredible primal urge to SMASH! It was my job as Daddy to stop was hurting my baby and I’m glad I stopped myself. I’m not a violent person at all, but I suddenly had the urge to smack that nurse.
I didn’t, but I wanted to. Even sitting here writing this in Starbuck’s I want to. I may smack the unsuspecting girl at the next table anyway. At least she won’t refuse to birth my baby.

 

----------------------

 

MOMMY'S JOURNAL - June 7

The Big Slow Down…
Well, it finally happened. Actually, it happened a couple of years ago when I fell off a desk at work & tore up my ankle so I had to learn how to ask for help and let other people do things for me (which was a blessing because that’s when my friendship with Lauren REALLY began!). Here we are again, only this time it’s high blood pressure, not a desk. Last Thursday evening when I went to the doctor my blood pressure was high, and I was put on immediate bed rest—no last day of school, no baby shower, nothing but mandatory horizontal until I went back to the doctor on Monday. I was very good for the WHOLE time, and believe it or not I followed doctor’s orders. I thought it was just a reaction to the end of school craziness and that we’d be fine when we went back on Monday. Well, I lost 5 pounds of fluid and that took care of the swelling, but my blood pressure was still elevated. So, we kind of compromised. I get to work Summer School, half days Monday-Thursdays. I can get up, go to work, then it’s straight home to lay down. Some people might think it’s crazy, but it was really important for me to do Summer School because a) I didn’t want to pack up my classroom, b) we definitely need the money and c) I don’t think ANYONE would want to be around me if I had to lay down 24 hours a day. So far James is still talking to me, so I assume I’m not too grumpy…yet! We went back to the doctor yesterday, blood pressure’s still up, I gained 3 pounds (we don’t know why…probably not a good thing!), and she said I can continue Summer School but absolutely positively nothing but horizontal resting when I’m not at school. That kind of put a kink in our weekend plans—I was hoping I could get up for at least a few hours every day (like I was at school, it seemed reasonable) and get things done. She shot that down pretty quick. We ‘fessed up about the 2 showers this weekend and even though her first word was “no”, Marlene agreed to the shower at our house on Friday (Lynn’s Ladybug Book Shower) and to Jennifer & Denise’s shower ONLY if I go straight to Denise’s, lay around while we’re there, and have somebody else open gifts. I figure I can do that. I know I was up too much yesterday (we went shopping a bit after we left the doctor’s office—I’m a sinner!) so I’m being very good today. It’s almost 11:00, and I’m laying on the couch in my pajamas. I promised James I wouldn’t get up until it’s time to get dressed to go to Denise’s. It’s a little rough to be down today; I’ve got several things I’d like to do in Kayci’s room, not to mention laundry and all of that stuff. James has been WONDERFUL about taking care of stuff, and I couldn’t ask for anything more from him. He’s really shown his true colors this past week, and now it’s a fact—he’s going to be a GREAT daddy; he already is! But, for Type A’s like myself, there’s quite a bit of guilt involved in having someone else do all of the stuff that I feel like I should be doing (laundry, housework, etc.). Lynn came over earlier this week and unpacked all of Kayci’s goodies from the church shower. My Mom will come over next week and wash Kayci’s new clothes (I was caught up on everything, and it’s KILLING me that she has a basket of clothes in there that need to be washed and put away). This is all a God thing, and I know it. Right now I’m exactly where and how He wants me to be, and I would have been too stubborn to stop and rest if He hadn’t forced the issue. So that’s the silver lining, that I’m able to see that this time is a blessing. And it really is; I’m able to focus on Kayci and James and this special time that will never come again. The laundry can wait! (Big talk; I’m sure I’ll be bugging James about clean clothes before lunch!).

 

Thursday, June 12 - Little Miss Muffett
We went to the doctor yesterday expecting to find out that Kristi was a couple of centimeters dilated and other such good news. However, we should have known what was coming- it’s almost a full moon after all.

Dr. Thompson felt the bottom of Kristi’s belly and immediately said, “that feels like a butt.” She felt around a little bit more and said that it looked as if Kayci had turned around and was now head up. An ultrasound confirmed it. In fact, not only is Kayci in breech position, but she’s also doing a “pike” in there, too. Her butt is basically covering the cervix and her feet are out in front of her. Little Miss Muffett is sitting on her cervix eating her gelatinous goo. It’s not a serious situation, but it did change things significantly. We had two options- 1. go to the hospital and have the doctor try to turn her around by pushing on the outside of Kristi’s belly or 2. schedule a cesaerian section.

There’s some risk involved with trying to turn a baby and our doctor said that in the position she’s in and for a first child, it’s very unlikely to work. We decided not to take any unnecessary risks with Kayci or to put her through that and just to schedule the c-section.

So as of right now, she’s scheduled to be born on Friday, June 20 at 8:45am. All the news yesterday really hit us hard. We weren’t expecting anything like this. It was a lot to take in all at once, but once it began to sink in it was all very exciting. We finally know exactly when she’ll be here.

Of course, if Kristi goes into labor before that or if Kayci turns on her own, things will change again. But it just shows that this is definitely our baby. She’s not even born yet and she’s making things interesting for us… I bet she still has one surprise in store for us.

So we made the call to all the parents yesterday and told them what was going on and not to schedule anything else for next Friday. They were all very excited, but perhaps most excited of all was Adam, my little brother. He was really pumped about the prospect of finally being an uncle. Of course this is from the same kid who, when we told him on Halloween that we was going to be an uncle, only said “puh.” And walked into the house.

Kristi and I are very excited about meeting Kayci, and all of our family is chomping at the bit as well. We’re keeping our nieces and nephew- Keely, Reagan and Gavin- for the weekend beginning today. We’ve got all kinds of fun things planned for them- summer stuff like water gun fights, playing in the sprinkler, planting a pumpkin garden and camping in the back yard. This Sunday is Father’s Day and we’ll have my dad and Adam over for lunch, as well as Kristi’s parents and probably Ronny and Amy (the kids’ parents.)

 

 

Babies and Brisket
The weekend went well for the most part. We had a good time playing with the kids. I’d say the highlight was playing in the back yard and eating “cool cups.” The low point is a tie between Reagan getting sick and throwing up all over the couch and trying to go on a picnic at the San Jacinto Monument and being swarmed by mosquitoes while the kids stood there and argued with me about why they should run back to the car.

Father’s Day was interesting and just a little surreal. Technically I am a father now, but I don’t actually have a baby yet so it kind of seemed like I was cheating. Kristi got me a “Best Dad” t-shirt and Kayci gave me a “Daddy’s Girl” onesie. We had the kids make cards for craft time on Saturday and I took the chance to make cards also. I instructed the kids to draw a picture on the front of their card with a fun time they had with their daddy, then with Grandpa. On my cards I chose to draw my dad and I camping when I was a Boy Scout. Good times… And I drew the entire thing with my right hand, so it looked as if an eight-year-old had drawn it. From Kayci, I drew a picture of my dad putting her changing table together. They haven’t had a lot of time together yet- mainly because she’s still in the womb- but I know they’ll spend plenty of time together later. For Kristi’s dad’s card I chose to draw a picture of the two of us running my remote control car in the dirt on a trip we took to Round Rock. Getting a hand-drawn card from an adult who’s a cartoonist may seem like a goofy thing or may seem to get old, but it made me happy and I enjoyed doing it. It made me stop and remember some really good times I’ve had with my father figures. I don’t care what Hallmark says- that’s what Father’s Day is all about.

Sunday evening we got a little excitement. I happened to look over at Kristi sitting on the couch and she had a contemplative look on her face. I asked what was wrong and she said that she though she might be having a contraction. Of course, I became very excited and wanted to know everything she could tell me about what was going on. The contraction wasn’t very long- about 30 seconds- but she said it felt like a cramp. It also turned out that it wasn’t the first one she had had either. She had had one about ten minutes before and hadn’t bothered to tell me. I was pretty mad at her at this point. First of all, this is the one thing I’m able to help with and really be a part of during the actual birthing process and there she was, sitting on the couch, stealing all action for herself. Second, since Kayci is now breech if Kristi starts having regular contractions we have to get her to the hospital.

So we timed the contractions, but they weren’t consistent at all. She had another one after twenty minutes, then nothing else (that she told me about.) In any case, that spurred us to go ahead and finish packing the hospital bag (Kristi packed already, but I still needed to put some stuff together.) We did that and watched a video on breastfeeding. I got my camera and video camera ready to go. I’ve got eight blank tapes ready. At about 90 minutes per tape, I figure I can accurately chronicle the entire three days we’ll be in the hospital.

Kayci was active and seems to be moving her head around in there, so I have no idea what she’s up to. As I write this on Monday evening, Kayci’s head is down low and off to Kristi’s left side. I bet she’s trying to turn back around. It figures she would since we already dismantled the labor bag we had prepared.

Tomorrow we interview a pediatrician. I know, I know. We waited until the last second. This is James & Kristi style, and we’re okay with that.

In any case, it’s a little weird to know that by the end of the week we’ll have a Baby Kayci. We’re both very anxious and excited. It’s going to be a long week, but luckily I’ve got a project to work on so hopefully that will help pass the time more quickly. I’m already betting that sleep will be hard to come by on Thursday night.

It’ll be like Christmas Eve- the anticipation of finally getting to that special day when you get that one little thing you’ve been wanting for what seems like forever, and all you have to do is wait until morning. To this day, I still rarely sleep on Christmas Eve and I’ve never in my life slept past 5:30am on Christmas morning. This has definitely been the hardest present ever to wait for. There’s no peeking (unless you count the ultrasounds- which if followed through with the current analogy- would be like trying to figure out if you’re getting a He-Man or a Skeletor action figure based soley on the size of the package and an X-ray of the box that shows SOMETHING inside with moveable parts.) There’s also no opening the present early. If I had my way, God would have designed a pregnant woman’s belly with a flip hatch so that Daddy could take the baby out, play with her a little bit, then put her back in to cook. Waiting for nine – almost ten – whole months to play with this baby has been like a kid with Attention Deficit Disorder trying to cook a brisket in an EZ Bake Oven. It’s taking an excruciatingly long time, especially at the end.

Then there’s the whole “no return” policy. Not that I already have one in this size, shape or color. Santa doesn’t accept returns and neither does the stork. There are some kids in the world –I happen to know some – that would be prime candidates for return. They’re obviously broken. Some are just plain evil. Unfortunately, putting them back in isn’t an option. They’d just mess up that room, too, within five minutes of getting there and blame it on someone else.

I don’t really know where I was going with that. I’m getting a little loopy here at the end waiting for my brisket…

 

 

 

Winding Down… (MOMMY'S JOURNAL - WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18)
We’ve started marking time…this is the last Monday morning before Kayci comes…this is the last time we’ll go to Target before Kayci comes…this is the last time we’ll clean the bathroom before Kayci comes…It’s hard to believe that now, in less than 48 hours, Kayci will be a person, with a face and funny little mannerisms instead of just this “baby” wiggling around inside of me. We’re already so close to her, and to know that that feeling is going to intensify is pretty hard to comprehend for us first-timers. It’s hard to imagine how much love we have inside of us, just waiting for a little girl to focus on. And to think that next time, God willing, when Kayci gets a brother or sister, we’ll have even MORE love…more than enough to go around.

As we’re winding down, I find that I’m not worried about the hospital (now that I’ve got pajamas, gowns, and socks all lined out—I was stressing over what to wear. Typical Kristi!). I’m not worried about pain or any of that stuff—although I might eat those words, and soon. I’m not even worried about the huge lifestyle change that we’re facing. I guess more than anything, I’m at peace and ready for what’s next. The only thing that’s nagging at my mind is this disbelief that I’m about to be NOT pregnant. I can’t even imagine what that’s going to be like. Part of me already feels lonely; I’ve gotten spoiled being connected to Kayci all the time, and always knowing what she’s doing, always being able to touch her or talk to her. My hope is that God will take care of this the same way he takes care of everything else, and that once I see her I’ll forget about being a pregnant Mommy and just rejoice in being a Mommy, period.

On a lighter note, I find myself thinking about food a LOT this week. A few minutes ago I saw a teacher with a McDonald’s bag advertising McGriddles (love ‘em) and thought, “hmm. I should have one for breakfast tomorrow. It’ll be the last time for a while.” Lauren stopped by for a few minutes and we talked about getting together for a meal tomorrow, and I find myself wondering what I’d like to eat…pizza, Chinese, Mexican? I think deep down I must be gearing up for the weeks that we’ll be pretty much homebound. And I’ve been soooooo hungry this week—that’s been a big change.
It’s been kind of fun to see people’s reactions this week when they ask, “when are you due?” I’ll say “any time now” but James says “Friday.” I like to see them squirm a little! We’ve been running around doing last-minute errands, taking care of the things we’ve been putting off, getting ready to “hibernate” for a few weeks. Because I’m me, I had to make sure that we had EVERYTHING we might need at home—toilet paper, paper towels, pet food, etc…all we need is food for us, and I think the grandparents have pretty much cornered that market.

Yesterday we met Kayci’s pediatrician for the first time, and liked her immediately. Of course, last night I started Kayci’s binder to keep track of her medical records, etc. If you don’t know about her binders, don’t ask! I feel better—I didn’t have a lot of questions to ask, but she answered them all before I could even ask them, and answered several questions that we didn’t know enough to ask. We have a lot to learn about parenting, but Dr. Byrd seems like someone who will lead us gently, and make sure we know what’s happening every step of the way. After we left her office, we visited James’ mom in the hospital (I’ll let him explain how she’s doing, but we’re hoping she rallies so she can be at the hospital with us this weekend!). Then we went and visited the neighborhood where James lived with his Mom & Dad when he was 4-12, I think. We’d been there before, years ago, but it was really cool to see where he went to school, which trees he climbed, where his friends lived, the pool where he practically lived during the summers. It was a nice break, and I know it made James happy. Times have changed; I can’t even imagine letting Kayci go to a public pool by herself. In our day, it was just what kids did. Not anymore.

Today we go to see Dr. Thompson for our final prenatal, and to get our hospital orders. I can’t wait to see how dilated/effaced I am. There’s been a lot going on in there (contractions, pressure, etc.) so I just want to know what Dr. Thompson has to say about it. Kayci hasn’t turned the way she needs to turn (head down) but she sure moves her head up and down quite a bit. Sometimes it’s level with my belly button, sometimes it feels like it’s sitting right in the middle of my chest. I think she curls up the most at night when I’m sleeping; when I wake up to roll over, she’s usually in a tight ball right in the middle of my tummy. I was wondering today if she’s going to be a gymnast or a cheerleader—she seems pretty limber and flexible! We’re pretty excited about today’s visit—who knows, maybe she’ll say “hey, looks like she’ll be here sooner than we thought!” That’d be okay…I’m just ready to see that little girl’s face! And James is tired of me “hogging” her, or at least that’s what he told me at bedtime last night when he was ready to read to Kayci and I was finishing up her laundry and having a snack. He said “just wait; pretty soon she won’t be on YOUR schedule and I can read to her any time I want!” Alrighty. Just make sure you change that diaper while you’re at it, buddy.

You’d think I’d have something wonderful to say in what will probably be my last journal entry while I’m pregnant with Kayci. I don’t; I’m just tired and hungry. This chapter in our life is coming to a close. It’s been a great one, one that couldn’t have been any more perfect. We’ve been blessed with health and happiness—God has really revealed Himself to us through Kayci and the blessings He’s bestowed upon us recently. I think it’s a lot easier to face being a first-time parent since we’ve learned (just in time, I might add) that we’re not in charge—God is. Now let’s just hope we remember that when Kayci’s crying, or sick, or just not happy with the program. I know we’re about to be tested, but I think we’ll all come through just fine. I can’t wait to see what’s next for our little family, but I also don’t want to “wish” our time away—I want to enjoy every moment!